Blog Entry 6- Socialization and Depictions. (VERY long)

             I was really intrigued watching the video, “A Call to Men,” because it underlined many of the ideas men were taught as young boys and abide as adults. Tony Porter said that’s as boys, men are taught that they are superior to women and must not have the emotions of one. As youngsters they are taught to be dominating, strong, and courageous and must not feel any pain amongst other things. They are taught that women are nothing else but a sexual object and nor can they be in charged and are simply followers of men. Porter gave example of his life where he subject himself to these ideas, such as treating his kids differently (allowing his daughter to cry but not his son). He also preaches how men are paralyzed about it meant to be a man, and how they portray themselves in front of women (such as his father only crying in front of him but not the women in his family.)

            The video, in my perspective, brings the questionable action of what is being taught to young boys about women. Boys have a constant fear of being labeled as having women tendencies so they focus more on how they are to be presented to others, and not what is right, such as the example he gave of him, Johnny and Shela. Porter goes into talking about how socialization inflicts this knowledge of women being property and less valuable that in ultimately results in objectifying women leading to nothing but violence against them. Lastly, Porter says that in order to understand all of this, “good men” although they are not separated from the rest, must come to the consensus that less value and objectification is the foundation to violence and it can not happen without it. Men are a part of the solution as well as the problem, and it all comes down to how men as boys are raised, and it is OK to be the opposite of what men are depicted to be leading to liberation for all.

            The video “Killing Us Softly 3: Advertising’s Image of Women,” is mainly about Jean Kilbourne’s analysis of advertisement and the depiction of women in the media, primary by men, throughout a period of time. Advertisement in media depicts women as mindless passive inactive sexual object incapable of doing anything else besides showing off their womanly parts. Culture emphasizes the important of beauty and the message it sends out to young woman in our culture of how unfulfilling life is as a woman. Kilbourn goes to talking about the importance of advertising and how much people are exposed to and the variety of locations. Most of the advertising in the video that Kilbourn spoke about dehumanized woman (which ties to previous articles on oppression, implicating that in order to be happy women should change lives by their bodily appearance. The self esteem of young girls is affected by advertisement once they become adolescents versus to the self esteem of boys the same age and the advertisement of men in ads.

            Jean Kilbourn is fighting for equality in advertisement and fighting for the way women’s bodies are continuously judged and criticized. Another main point in the video is which ads are being promoted, those 5% of women who have a specific type of body which is considered the “perfect” size, and it’s constantly in ads yet doesn’t necessarily exist. There are also these unwritten guidelines that women are only except if they are a certain race, certain age, and always properly groomed. These ads affect women, especially young women because of this idea that they need to be extremely thin, not full of themselves and sadly not to be too powerful. Not only are they degrading women’s physical appearances’, there are also encouraging women to have some type of eating disorder, and sending out the message that beauty is pain. All these harmful ideas to women (at least in my opinion they are) come from the media and how they advertise women either passive, vulnerable or mutes, and the message that they should only be seen and not heard.

            Both of these video relate to our chapter on Socialization because Chapter 6 speaks about socialization and how it is subject to change and challenges us as part of a society. Socialization teaches who we are, how society expects us to behave and how it operates as a whole. It allows for social reproduction while being the key element for stability and as it changes its messages also changes. Chapter 6 also speaks about family and it being the first form or agent of socialization because as youngsters we learn the most important aspects of socialization from our families, such as speaking, values, being respectful and personal hygiene. Families are the first teachers children have as they develop. Children also learn about the expectation of society in interactions outside of their home life such as schools or day care facilities. Here, they are taught how to behave, to obey and follow the rules and authority, to respect others, and be attentive in their leanings. Media in today's society also plays a role in being agents of socialization. The young generation of today has unlimited access to media whether it is internet, television or game console which also has internet in some cases. Media sets values, beliefs, norms and behavior all to increase consumerism and ideas and situations of adults which concerns many parents because of the sexually explicit and graphically violent content of some media.

The article, “Parents’ Socialization of Children,” is about how parents’ are the primary source responsible for the children they bear or adopt and have legal responsibilities and obligations to provide their children with the nourishment (physical and mental) ultimately raising them to meet the expectations of their communities. The three different types of parenting styles are authoritative, permissive and authoritarian. Authoritative parenting is being firm yet nurturing, explaining their reasons for their actions, encouraging parent-child discussions about problems, and are responsive to their children’s needs, and knowing how to receive compliance. These children turn out to be self-reliant, self-controlled, cheerful, cooperative with adults, achievement oriented and friendly with peers. Permissive parenting avoids supervision and control of their children by not setting acceptable means of behavior. They allow children’s input on family matters and encourage independence, use reasoning and are rarely punish their children for unacceptable behavior.  These children are usually aggressive, aimless, bossy, lacking in self-control and independence, and non-compliant with adults. Lastly, authoritarian parenting demands total obedience from their children usually implementing many rules, restrictions and are very punitive. They enforce their values and traditions with no negotiations or compromise, which results in their children being fearful, moody, aimless, unhappy, easily annoyed, and less able to cope effectively with stressful circumstances.

            The article also goes on to describe the influence of parental control, support, and power even when parents are only able to interact with their children a few hours each week and effects of parenting styles from different countries, such as China, Japan and the US and Israel, and how each country labels different parenting style and behavior differently and how they subcultures views corporal punishments. The parenting styles varies from culture to culture, there are more similarities than differences. Whether it is encouraging autonomy or obedience with just interacting with your child a few hours a day those hours are crucial because it is where the children develop their particular behavior. Academic success for children comes from parental involvement as well as the parents’ own academic success and status. The article continues to talk about the effects of class and styles of parenting with academic and behavioral success in different cultures. This article ties with chapter 6 because socialization comes first from parents and the different parenting styles ultimately affect children’s socialization and what they learn, values and beliefs.

            The article, “The Retro Wife,” starts off being about a mother would after getting an education and receiving a degree decided to become a completely house wife mainly because she wanted to be there unconditionally for her children, cooking healthy meals and devoting herself to teaching life lessons to her kids. She wanted to spoil her husband after his long work hours and being able to be a role model for her children. The article then goes on to discuss about another woman who works at a Fortune 500 company but who is also a mother and got a formal education all because she believe her self to be smart enough to do so but refused to call herself a feminist. The women the article speaks about are more content and find it fulfilling to be able to stay home and direct and interact with their kids while their husbands go to work. Many of the statistics of young couple married showed that women can be just as good mothers working as those full times mothers as well as their partners who supported the family. Despite anything, men regardless of time did far less housework than their wives (surprise surprise) and spend less time nourishing their kid. The article then goes to elaborate on how women are perfectionist when it comes to housework and how their partners look after their kids constantly reminding them what needs to be done. This article can be tied to chapter 6 because its based on how stay at home mothers find it more satisfied in being there everyday for their kids whether preparing meals or helping with homework which according to chapter 6 family is the key element for stability and it being the first form or agent of socialization because children learn the most important aspects of socialization from their parents.

            After reading, “The Retro Wife” and “Parents’ Socialization of Children,” I was able to learn exactly why chapter 6 refereed to parents and families as being the first agents of socialization for children. Children learn many different things from their families and it’s important to set a good example. As an education major these article help me gain more knowledge on how to better educate children. In my perspective, my parent’s parenting style was authoritative because firm yet nurturing, explaining their reasons for their actions, encouraging us to mutually discuss problems, and are responsive to their children’s needs, and knowing how to receive compliance. I believe my siblings and I turned out to be self-reliant, self-controlled, and cheerful (when we have enough sleep lol). We are cooperative with adults, achievement oriented and friendly with peers (again when we have enough sleep). These video also shifted my way of thinking about how I would raise my own sons in the near future, not implying that they should not feel anything besides anger and my daughters to no be allowed to be oppressed by men. I have learned many incredible values from my parents and family, and hope to pass them on to my future children.

Boys and Girls Socialized: